Initiation

[mylastchance]

It was finally time. After a year of training and studying by his Master's side he had finally proved himself ready and worthy to undergo the sacred rites. Tonight Lauren was going to be inducted into the Druid's secret order. He knew the words to speak, he'd practiced, but he had no idea what to expect. He was excited and anxious all at the same time. He felt sick to his stomach. This was the moment he had been working for and now it was finally here.

There was one problem, however. The ceremonies of the druids were a secret known only to them, and Susan, as an outsider, would not be allowed to go. The reason this was so problematic was because neither Susan nor Lauren had been without each other since the death of their parents two years before. Lauren was nervous at the thought of leaving his brother. He worried what Susan would do without him. Would he eat enough food? Drink enough water? Stay safe? He didn't like not knowing where his brother was, and he didn't like not knowing who he was with. Still, despite all his concerns, he could manage. Teacher had promised somebody strong and good would look after him, and so Lauren knew his worries were likely unfounded. No, now it was Susan who was proving to be the problem.

"I'm sorry I have to leave you behind." he murmurs, sitting on his sleeping furs, dressed in a simple white robe he had to put on for the ceremony.

OOC Note: Reposted from a locked entry.

Comments

[wild_magic]

Susan had already fought and argued and refused to let Lauren go, and by this point he was quietly pouting and ignoring his brother. Of course he's only a child, and so his ignoring isn't the best in the world, and he often glances over to see what Lauren is doing, to see if he's paying attention to the fact that he's being ignored. But mostly he just sits there playing in the dirt on the ground in front of him, thinking to himself about how unfair this is.

Of course he was also scared, scared that something would happen and Lauren wouldn't come back. He didn't want that to happen, he needed Lauren, and that's really his biggest problem with him leaving for this stupid "initiation" thing. He didn't understand why Lauren couldn't stay here and never go do anything else, why he couldn't just do the things he'd been taught without some sort of thing he had to go to. It didn't make any sense, and Susan didn't like it.

[mylastchance]

Lauren is sitting there, biting his lip. His hands are clasped in his lap, and he stares at them, trying to ignore how much Susan ignoring him actually hurts. Maybe he was making the wrong decision. He didn't know and it was hard to tell himself it was okay to want this when Susan was so clearly against it. Was he being selfish?

"You won't be by yourself." he murmurs, still not looking Susan's way.

[wild_magic]

He finally looks at Lauren, looking pretty upset.

"I want to be with you..."

[mylastchance]

He doesn't meet his gaze.

"I'll be back really soon. As soon as I can be."

[wild_magic]

"It's not fair, why can't I go with you!"

same icon into infinity

[mylastchance]

He shrinks back from Susan's shout.

"I don't know why."

[wild_magic]

"It's not fair...!" He turns away again, trying not to cry. Lauren didn't like it when he cried, so he was going to try not to.

[mylastchance]

His own eyes start to water as he hears the tears in Susan's voice. He stays quiet.

"I'm sorry." he pleads, hand rubbing on his cheek.

[wild_magic]

He doesn't say anything, and just wipes his eyes to try and keep from crying. He shakes his head though, not wanting Lauren to apologize, just wanting him to stay.

[mylastchance]

Lauren scoots over to sit beside his brother, not caring if he gets his clothes dirty. He leans on his arm as he sits beside his brother.

"I love you."

[wild_magic]

Susan turns away from him, not wanting him to see him cry, but leans back against Lauren too.

"I love you too..."

[mylastchance]

He wraps his arms around his brother's side, holding him close.

"I will come back."

[wild_magic]

He's quiet a long moment, just leaning against Lauren.

"...Promise?"

[mylastchance]

"I promise." he says, squeezing Susan tight.

"I could never leave you for long."

[wild_magic]

"...I wish I could go with you."

[mylastchance]

He nods and whispers, "Me too."

He finds Susan's hand with his own.

"I'm worried. Kind of scared."

[wild_magic]

"Then, you shouldn't go!"

[mylastchance]

The reaction surprises him. His lip trembles and he pulls away. He looks towards the woods, away from Susan as he eyes grow hot with unshed tears. He feels lost, and doesn't know what he should do.

He knows this is right. He wants to be more powerful, better, for Susan. Lauren wants to be able to take care of his brother like he should. But was it really safe to leave Susan alone when his younger brother was so against it? Even though he knew he was doing this for the right reasons, it felt like he was doing something wrong.

He nods, and then shakes his head, pushing the base of his palm into his cheek. The tears finally fall as he nods again.

"Alright." he says, voice shaking.

[wild_magic]

Susan is still upset himself and so he doesn't turn to his brother when he pulls away, not wanting him to see how upset he is. But when Lauren finally responds he's surprised and he turns to him wide-eyed, but seeming excited.

"Really? You won't go?"

[mylastchance]

He nods again, crying to hard to talk, and gritting his teeth to stop from making a sound. If he left like this Susan would probably just try to run away. He could get lost or hurt if left by himself.

"I n-need to be here for you." he murmurs, hiccuping between words. " That's more i-important."

[wild_magic]

Susan's happy to hear him say it, really happy, but he realizes that Lauren's crying and it makes him frown. He didn't want Lauren to be sad, even if he really did want him to stay... He doesn't know what to do. He looks down at the ground, nervous.

"Did I make you sad?"

[mylastchance]

He shakes his head no, pulling his knees to his chest and hiding his face. He's trying so hard to hold back the tears, but he can't. His chest shakes, and he holds his breath, keeping his jaw tight to stop it. He'd wanted this so badly. He should know he can't do things for himself anymore.

[wild_magic]

Lauren might be saying no, but Susan can tell he's upset. He doesn't look at him, still looking down at the ground, starting to tear up again.

[mylastchance]

He draws in a wavering breath. He'd have to tell Teacher when he got here, and he wouldn't be able to see him anymore. But it was okay, maybe Teacher would understand. Maybe he would still come back sometimes.

His lip trembles and more tears fall. He shivers, cold from wearing this stupid thin thing and he huddles in on himself even more. It was okay, he was making the right choice and someday that would mean more than finishing this. It hurt right now, but it would get better. Just like missing Nana and Father, it was going to be okay.

[wild_magic]

Susan doesn't know what Lauren's thinking, but he doesn't like him being upset. He sniffles as he tries not to cry, and he finally scoots closer to Lauren again, laying his head against him. He doesn't know what to say or what to do, he just wants Lauren here and for things to be okay.